Yvonne Lim turns 50 as her son takes PSLE, worries she is not a good mother

For Yvonne Lim’s 50th birthday, her husband Alex sprang a surprise: he secretly asked 50 of her friends, both in and outside the entertainment industry, to record birthday wishes. They included Ivy Lee, who is based in the UK. Lim was deeply moved by his special gift, though she quipped: “We have a little rivalry going on. I did something special for his birthday too, so perhaps he made this video to outdo me.”

Joking aside, Lim preferred this heartfelt gift to a lavish birthday party. Watching the video, she laughed and cried as emotions washed over her. “Where Chou and Joelle Lu said in the video: ‘Can you please stop putting everyone else first all the time? Think of yourself a little more.’ That made me cry, because I really do seem to be like that.”

Followers of Lim’s Instagram account may have seen photos or videos of her cooking for family and friends and baking them birthday cakes. She said she enjoys seeing everyone happy and is glad to do things for them. Yet she feels uneasy being on the receiving end.

Lim’s birthday falls on 28 September, and friends organised a gathering specially to celebrate with her. But with her son in the midst of his Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE), she wanted to focus on supporting him and did not want to attend. There was another reason too: “I’m quite introverted in private. I don’t like being the centre of attention. I get so shy I just want to retreat into my shell.”

September brought two milestones for Lim: her 50th birthday and her elder child’s PSLE.

She said: “Seeing how hard my son has worked, I’m really quite moved...” Before she could finish, tears unexpectedly welled up in her eyes. Holding them back, she said she worries that she is not a good mother and has not done enough for her children.

Lim and her family lived in Taiwan for about a decade, moving back to Singapore only in 2024. At the time, she and her husband worried that their son would be under too much pressure. Besides readjusting to his environment and way of life, he would have to settle into school and a new education system, and quickly get up to speed academically. They therefore hoped he could drop back a year in primary school

“But he met the requirements in the school’s tests, so the school did not let him enroll in a lower level. I’m really heartened that he has adapted quite well and made friends too. I’m very grateful to his classmates for being willing to be his friends, so he doesn’t feel so alone.”

Lim began cutting back on work in June to support him through the exams. “This is his first major exam, a small hurdle, and I wanted to be by his side to keep him company and encourage him.”

Besides looking after his daily needs and nutrition, she offered him reassurance too: “Mummy did quite well in the PSLE even without tuition. So you have Mummy’s genes. You’ll be OK.”

Asked whether she was a “tiger mum”, Lim laughed and said she had put that very question to her son. “I’m happy he said he doesn’t think I’m a tiger mum.”

She gives her husband much of the credit for keeping her from becoming one. At his encouragement, she continued acting in the first half of the year, which kept her from focusing too much on her son and unwittingly putting pressure on him. “But I checked with my son before going off to film with a peace of mind. When I’m working, I focus on work, so I don’t keep nagging him.”

Lim believes the best way to raise children is teaching by example. “I always tell my children to do their best in whatever they do, and I demonstrate that through my actions too. When he sees me taking everything seriously and working hard, he’ll learn the right attitude as well.”

Even before the PSLE ended on 30 September, she had quietly planned a “We survived the PSLE” party, she had quietly planned a “We survived PSLE” party, inviting her son’s classmates and their parents to celebrate together after the exams. “This is the final stage of his primary school years. I hope he and his friends can have fun to their hearts’ content and be happy.”

Reflecting on her son growing up, Lim said: “He’s no longer the little boy who used to love holding Mummy’s hand. Now, when we go out, he sometimes feels shy and doesn’t want to hold my hand.”

For now, there is no significant generation gap between her and her son, who belongs to Generation Alpha, because she makes an effort to understand how his generation speaks and bridge the distance.

She took up Lianhe Zaobao’s (LHZB) challenge to decode Gen Alpha slang. “6-7” and “cooked” posed no difficulty, but the meanings of “cap / no cap” and the skull and wilted rose emojis left her wide-eyed. “Why don’t they just say what they mean?” she exclaimed. Click on the video to watch Lim take the pop quiz.

She laughed: “Sometimes my son calls me ‘bro’, because that’s what they often call one another at school. I’ll correct him: ‘I’m your mum, not your bro.’”

From becoming an actress in her 20s to getting married and having children, Lim used to think being 50 was a distant prospect. But time flew, and she reached that milestone in the blink of an eye.

.　　She shared that her ability to take things in her stride now is the result of all that she has been through over the years. “I used to feel the need to rush ahead and prove myself in so many ways, especially in my career. Now, I care more about the people I meet along the way, and making time for those who deserve it.”

Still passionate about acting, she hopes for the chance to portray a character from youth to old age. “When I was little, I watched a movie called Oshin. So I hope to play a character like Oshin, whose story spans different eras.”